Memoirs of 2011

Happy new year!!

I was just reminiscing about the last year, a lot of memories made.

The past year was filled with terrible months for my home country, Bahrain.
A lot of us didn't even know we had so much patriotism, I supposed we weren't raised on it especially if your mixed, I'm Qatari/Saudi originally, my father was born here and was raised in Bahrain for as long as he could remember, its weird because all his cousins and relatives speak very differently compared to us, our extended family had begged us to move out of this civil war about to erupt nation but my father refused, he wasn't one to take a cowards way out, always quiet with his teeth clenched watching the news. It was a very sad time for us, most of us never left our neighborhoods. It was such difficult times.

After that finally things began to simmer down, and slowly get back to normal somewhat, or at least we thought, I was never big on politics, its just a barren conversation where everyone sticks to one side of the bridge, nobody wants to cross it.

Afterwards my husband saw what toll everything took on me, with my toxic day job and the situation in Bahrain, he booked me to Switzerland for two weeks, needless to say as much as I enjoyed the scenery and people, a part of my journey was filled with self assessment and contemplation, when people were moving around happily and carefree here, my country was still in the dark ages in need of some advisory assistance.

When I came back I was in a much brighter mood and things seemed to go better, I brought my work mates a few trinkets and because some were from very simple backgrounds they clutched at it as if they were given a pirates foreign coins.
It was the happiest I've ever been, to bring a bit of joy to a kind soul.
Its the strangest thing, I think the best part of me if there ever was, is the fact that I always look to give presents, think about the person and hit the shops for the perfect color/item/label.

Just before the end of the year I had a big rumble with my bosses, I'm never one to shut up when I know I'm right, I can be the rudest, crudest, most blunt person you'd know.

The place I work in is a man-dominated cesspool, the fact that they had a woman throwing away they're punches actually made they're eyebrows rise. I worked there for a year with no Job discerption while the rest of the (batty lashed, easy females) got promoted.
I spent my year disregarding that; with continues let downs of myself, pushing myself to work harder and more efficiently because I might've seemed relaxed and un-accomplished.

But then I was called in by another boss. (Did I mention my boss and this one were grudging against each other, and neither talked to the other, its that toxic! ) anyhow he told me that he doesn't see me having any new promotions or any such things, my response was a clear sarcastic "Wow! I'm so excited to come back here tomorrow now."
I don't have a need for this job, my financial matters were taken care of fine, and the pay there isn't that good, its way bellow 600BD.

Anyhow he continued turning the tables on my original boss blaming him of my current situation and continued bad mouthing him, while making clear comparability tactics about his team and ours.

I took off and gave that exact info to my other boss, clearly stepping away from any means of professionalism since I made the assessment long ago that this place was not Professional! Not even close.
So I disregarded my work rules and dispatched what I heard specifically.
My current boss is very nice and understanding and very knowledgable, In a way I see him as a more senior version of myself, he had confessed to me that he had submitted his resignation that same time I submitted mine, And we both got rejected.

Anyhow I came in the next morning after a lash out on my part on a few older junior employees who almost broke a freshly surgical problematic dear colleague of mine with a door. (Of course not intentional)
That was basically the straw that broke the camels back, I honestly couldn't control myself, it was later in the evening that I realized what I did and honestly....I felt rotten.

I was called in by another senior, he said that they have raised a complaint about my lash out, and he did not want to take serious actions towards me because he knew me too well.
"I know you hate it here, but I've got a proposition. You like to write right? You got an amazing accent! I need someone to take over the VIP foreign guests, write articles, emails."
Strangely what I thought was another awful day turned a bit lighter but not quiet white, he just made me more confused about staying, which I don't...but it seemed like something I could do.
Still juggling though.

A good note to all of this; my friends are increasing significantly...no shallow friendships here, I have this feeling that I'm going somewhere good.

But, Later this weekend I got a horrible cold, my daughter and I...needless to say I'm tucking all thoughts behind at the moment to have a much needed relaxation.

G'night/G'morning.