Cousin W

I hereby proclaim that I have the most destructive, crazy ass cousin on the planet.
No, I am not kidding, this post is a 100% true.

She's a maniac.

Cousin W, was always on the sidelines, she'd play with us girls for the sake of it, "There's nothing better to do." she'd say, but when there's an outing or her brothers are back into town to treat her, she'd fling us against the wall and run out skipping.

She was the girl with the messy hair, watchful eyes and the tell tail tongue, she'd always make up things about us and report it to the grown ups.

Back then, we did not know who the culprit was, for we had this idea that "5aly knows everything. A little bird told him." A little conniving ,treacherous bird that was cousin W.

And then Cousin W became 15, UH OH.

Yes, now all the boys we were crushing on Cousin W knew all about it and would run to Mama, "Shoofy banatch 3amty...mayst7oon!"

And Mama would come scream at us like its judgment day and grounded us until we wept, but Cousin W always stood by in the shadows laughing.

Now as a grown up I know her better than I knew her then.
Evil.

Now since I'm all married and settled she's off to look for a husband of her own but to no use, for Cousin W was not pretty, not smart, and not popular. She never changed her style, stuck to her prim -This is right- baggy jeans, floral shirts, and prim flats, she never changed a shade of lipstick, never painted her nails, never even dyed her hair.
And when we did all that we were...
what did she call us last time?
Oh yes. "Byaaasrr."

Cousin W always paraded about how the boys fell hands and feet at her incoming, many had plead for her hand in marriage but she had refused them because her highness had outranked them all.
She always described herself as "Jamaaly mala w900f!" and "Fdaaitny."
In the midst of tens of gorgeous girls that watched her with inward envy speaking the same thought in they're heads "Ya laaaytny 3ndy thara mn thegathaa"

When a boy was following us in the mall, Cousin W would always state with the utmost confidence, "Ma 6a7at 3ayna mn yom shafny!! Lw3 chbdy wa ohwa yla7gny!" ><
And the rest of us would sigh and walk on, there was no end to this.

Last night I was conversing with another cousin about her and found out another tidbit about Cousin W.
The two were in a wedding when a lady came by to speak to my other cousin, "Hessaa mashalla 9ayra sh7lwch tyaneneeen!" and when the lady passed them, Cousin W turned to her and said "T7acheech inty o elgmaar yamch?! Hathy akeed yanat!"

I fell down laughing at the story, this girl is unbelievable.
I rather doubt that anyone's got such a character in the family. Consider yourself lucky.